It was hot and I wore short sleeves and you wore your short skirts
Run through the forest singing songs and snapping photos
And it smells like young love and old home
I am not as I once was, lie to me if you will
Any old old lie will do
Come back home darling, come back home
Call me your own, come back home darling
Come back home, call me your own
Because everyone I love is either
leaving or dying
All we are doing is either
laughing or crying
All the time
Since you're gone now
Smells like young love and kisses with chapstick
This is a dangerous thing we do
I don't care about anything else when I'm with you
Come back home love, call me your own once more
I heard you singing through the gaps in the flowers
Two teeth are clinging they split down the middle
I saw you dancing, then through that crevasse
And now in my head you are all that I think about.
I can almost just smell you, smell you right here, right now
Smells like the sun when it kisses your neck
Smells like your hair in the early autumn wind
Smells like your eyes and the early spring storms
Smells like your hands forming balls out of snow
There's nothing wrong with being alone
It depends on how you look at it
And I swear to god I'll always love you
or I mean I'll swear to someone's god
Cause I lost my faith once in December
And again in October two-thousand and eight
And then one more time on June Twenty-Seventh
and now again, a couple of days ago
Because everyone I love is either
leaving or dying
That seems to be the reoccurring theme
Because everyone I love is either
laughing or crying
All the time
Do you ever wonder what happens to thoughts we have, when we are done thinking them?
Or the words we say when we have finished saying them?
Do they just disappear?
Do you think they trail off and form clouds?
Maybe the sound waves float up through our atmosphere and right off our great big green planet
I think that they do
I think they float off the Earth
and travel throughout space for millions or trillions of light years, or what have you
and then in millions or trillions or billions of Earth years, or what have you
they will reach far away galaxies, finally
only stopping in for a moment and then fleeting onwards yet again
Perhaps some being on a planet much like ours
3.5 billion years from now will be standing in their space kitchens
cooking space dinner
and through a breeze in the window
a whisper grazes the side of their head
"i love you"
Maybe it makes their day.
Maybe the sound waves stop
and form a gigantic bubble of every thought ever had,
every word ever spoken
every love ever loved,
every clap and kick and snap and snare
and shakes of tambourines
i love you's and goodbye's
and hello's for that matter
a galaxy of everything ethereal
never-dying allways living
constantly traveling throughout time and space
literally
Perhaps this bubble in another set of a billion Earth years
becomes a planet in a glorious birth, or a bang
a planet distant light years away from here
where when it's born there will be kicks and claps and snaps and shakes of tambourines
and everyone is singing
because of all the singing we've done here, it has to go somewhere
a planet made of music and happiness and all the good things in life
and i love you's and goodbye's
and hello's for that matter
In my daydreams I often daydream of a place
millions of light years from where I am sitting at this moment
at a computer desk, in front of a screen, typing onto this machine
and I wonder
what if?
i will take all my love for you
and inflate it into balloons
tie them off and set them free
attach them to a giant peach
baby peach
wait for me
until i set you free
"i saw my future, it was bleak"
said the bird with the worm in his beak
and he clipped off his wings and dove with the doves to the streets
hoping he'd land on both his feet
and knowing that they'd creak
like old basement doors afterwords
and he hoped they would break
he liked things that way
he says "at least then there's room for improvement"
and it was sad when he died, and a few people cried
but not enough to make the water level rise
he thinks "i'm a bird and i can't even fly?"
"what's the point yeah we're all gonna die?"
and not a day passes by
where this bird doesn't cry
and he thinks
"man i really wish i could die"
The sound of a sigh
like whispers from giants
and a gang of coy gallants
still kicking my ass.
Life, in a whiff all ripped from a mirror.
My life in a whiff, oxygen escapes my breath
In a sniff, the stale stench of death
And how it tastes when it trickles down your throat.
Time spent, not wasted
(maybe)
We've been keeping busy
Arranging sounds where we deem necessary
And for all my lies, she thinks I'm still very loveable.
some days i feel
like the moon is closer than it usually is
and in the sky it's looking larger
and i wonder if it means you're closer
or if you're just looking out for me
but i'm probably just making lies
to comfort me, and shut my eyes
yes, i think i am.
when it gets warm
i hope that it's you breathing
or that i am
sharing the same air you are
where ever you are
and the leaves, off of trees
remind me of you
and the look of old keys
and the sound that they make
turning tumblers in an old lock
stuffed in a chest,
old linen and wedding dress
with the scent of a flower pressed into a page and rotted for thirty-five years
or a veil soaked in joyfully wept, delicate beautiful tears
life is a whiff of the smell of dead leaves
blown away with the wind in a delicate breeze
all hands off deck
and all men overboard
the captain is overboard and overheard
screaming screaming
abandon ship!
cannons split through the floorboard
let's get lost together
we have tested the buoyancy of loyalty
you left our lungs for canteens,
you left our ankles for anchors
we thought your arms were tied behind your back
but elastic bands tied your wrists
you swim with reckless abandon
perhaps it was
nothing more than dumb luck that i got us here
but don't be so worried
don't be so nervous
don't be so afraid
you are always waiting for something
realize
everything is breathing
but only if you're watching
everything around you
everything is breathing
if it feels like it was all worth something
at least it felt like anything
good luck to you
(with everything)
"but no one's in your head,
and by the time you translate your thoughts
some essence of them may be lost or
perhaps
it is just kept
perhaps in the interesting of loving one's self.
perhaps those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school's groaning
were tokens for holding the lonely at bay.
cause if you're happy in your head,
then solitude is blessed,
and alone is okay."
Did you ever see the morning, oh?
Did it take you by surprise?
Did every breath fall just beneath your grasp
as you were hanging from every cloud in every sky darling?
I wondered if I'd ever feel that way again
while I'm wondering if you felt it then.
I wonder now, do you miss me too?
I used to be so excited just to sleep
because my bed always smelled so much like you
but now i hate it there, i do
I can't even lay in my bed anymore,
because it reminds me too much of sleeping next to you.
sleeping next to you
and in your state, in the cabin on the lake
in the city half a mile away from you
i'm looking past my shoulders and
hoping i might catch a glance at you
or even someone you know
thinking "that very well may do."
i missed you
i missed you
good morning sun
i missed you
the night was long without you, yeah
everything is
everything is
everything (is)
broken
everything is
everything is
hello sun
i missed you so
hello moon,
oh no, please
don't go.
all i'm good at is cowering
please don't tell my friends
and don't tell my parents
that i'm still afraid of the dark
cause i'm good at nothing but cowering
where's your damn head at?
don't mind me
just out making noise
i've been
screaming
losing my voice
yeah
and i say leave you're porch light on
a journal entry/previous blog post (different blog)
when you are not sure how you’re feeling
be reminded just to feel.
or not to feel a thing, i guess. if that’s how you feel.
if you feel inspired, feel it.
because you won’t feel it for a while.
and when you think you’ve felt it,
you don’t really feel a thing at all.
i haven’t felt this in forever.
but i am feeling brave.
i don’t know how to feel things,
but i know that i am feeling.
i am glad that i can feel,
and glad that i don’t feel nothing.
i feel as if i’m losing this.
i feel as if i’m losing myself.
i don’t know where i’ve been.
but now, i feel, i’ve found myself.
if you’re feeling blue, look up towards the blue sky.
nobody feels like looking up anymore.
if you’re feeling like you can’t feel a thing
then clearly you are wrong, you’re definitely feeling something.
but i get it, sometimes i feel i am feeling nothing.
and i feel like i’ve never built a thing.
but then i feel, that i have felt, and that’s okay with me.
at least that’s how i feel.
i think
happy julysomethingorother
i think i saw you in my sleep, darling
yeah you were tearing up the floorboards
i think i saw you in my dreams
you were pulling out the seams
all that is good you are
all that is good you were
all that is good
ambassadors of all that is good
i slept on the floor so i could sleep close to you
i slept on the floor so i could sleep close to you
if you listen yes, i'll let you in on this
won't you listen
all we are reduced/revised
to dust
you reduced, and i revised
and you hide lies behind your eyes
and you hide lies behind your eyes
i refuse to have to spell my name
for the header on your
"to whom it may concern"
telling me you're leaving and never coming back
watch your ankles when you're
twist away from me baby girl
uncurl
but don't go too far, awfully far
and i miss the sound of stairs
and when you separate the beads
at the entrance to your room
like you're parting the sea
do you have the slightest idea?
oh no i don't
oh is that so?
no sticks left to gather
but plenty to burn
a fire as big as the sky
we'll burn it up darling
and we'll burn it proudly
the sky is as red as your eyes anymore
and i can't quite figure out why
these things always passing us by
shit
i'm fucking up
i'm fucking up
i'm fucking up everything
but
if time is lost
well i'm alright with that
"i think i'm okay with it too"
i think i like you
yeah i like you back too
your eyes are as red as the sky anymore
everyone's passing me by
i'm fucking up
i'm fucking up everything
everything's broken
and everything hurts
we didn't make 500 days
maybe i missed it
but i'll never know it
and no one will notice
and everything passes me by
i'm getting pretty good at
fucking up things
i feel so stupid
and tired and wasted
my eyes are as red as the sky
everything's fucking gone wrong
and everyone's passing me by
tired of being so high
i just wish i would die
i'm fucking up
i'm fucking up
i'm fucking up everything
